Detach.

Detaching is a very painful thing to do, but with it comes so much freedom.

When I say detach I mean from the people, things, or activities you leach off of and that leach off of you. The act of detaching isn’t the hard part, it’s the aftermath where you have to decide if you want to break down and run back.

Sometimes it is involuntary, not a decision you make on your own but one that someone or something makes for you. You can fret but overstand that is a sign from the Universe or God that you need a break whether it be temporary or permanent in order to refresh and renew.

Social networks are a web of danger when it comes to leading a positive, uninfluenced life. You get caught up in who got married, who just got aanother degree, or child, or check, or house…it becomes overwhelming. And if you aren’t caught up in other people’s lives you are caught up in comparing what you have accomplished in the same time period. No matter how much you accomplish you’re trapped in the thought of: “was it good enough? did I do enough?”

A good start to detaching to removing social networks from your life, temporarily or permanently. Doing so filters out all that white noise. Not including the impossible lifestyles to live up to that we do subconsciously especially if we are at a fragile and more tender part of our growth in life. Deactivate them temporarily or delete the apps from your phone just to quench the urge to “check”.

Detach from people. Not all people are bad. Not even the ones you detach from. I say this very lightly though. If you are at a point in your life where you fear yourself being alone do not cut yourself off from the world, for some people like myself, it is necessary for a reevaluation of self. At the most fragile parts of my life the people around me became like flies or wasps, either irritating and nagging or stinging and harmful. This was because I was at my worse and some of them were feeding off of that or merely fighting their own demons. I found clarity in purposeful isolation. Isolation that was productive to my health, work, and goals. Not isolation to feed negative emotions, please recognize the difference.

Some people detach dramatically, shutting off their phone, blocking numbers, avoiding people or more milder approaches. Choose what’s best for you, just be aware of the consequences of abrupt cut offs. The goal is to silence the outside just enough to listen to the inside, not cut bridges with every possible human haha.

I believe the most difficult things to detach from aren’t people or social networks but habits and activities. People can agree that outside forces influence and affect them but won’t take responsibility for the activities they partake in that affect them. Smoking, drinking, compulsive eating, negative comments, negative outlooks, drug abuse, obsessions and more. Detaching and healing from these things may be more than just putting down the bottle or negative attitude, it may be seeking mental health in the form of counseling or holistic health from a licensed practitioner. These activities feed what I call dead time, time when you could be alone with yourself but chose to instead do a harmful or addictive activity. They are the direct opposite of mindfulness which we aim to reach via detachment. We become more defensive over the harmful activities we participate in than the people we deal with, willing to detach quicker from a person than a coping mechanism.

In order to fill that dead time up meditate, crochet, write, draw, read an uplifting book, study something new, work out, or practice self care spa-style.

These are just some things to help with those of us needing to detach from the world and sync back in with ourselves, and/or God/Universe.